About a month and a half ago, a short term mission team came to serve in Nsoko, they were made up of high school students all the way to adults. They were a medical missions team that were a part of the Ambassador program through Adventures in Missions. But anyways, when they came Pastor Gift was on sabbatical leave in South Africa for a few weeks, so we basically took over his command here in Nsoko, meaning that my team served as this Ambassador team's host here in Swaziland and we set up the entire ministry they would be serving through and led them in that. Along with the team, Don and Connie Rock came with as leaders of the Ambassador team. Don and Connie are some cool cats, they are the head directors of the whole Ambassador program and know all the ins and outs and what's what. Well, Don and Connie are in need of people to lead trips with the Ambassador program, which sends out teams of high schoolers, and they felt that my team would be good candidates to lead trips because, well, we don't have a leader of ourselves here. The Rocks later went back to the States and prayed and asked God specifically if he wanted any of us to lead and what exact trip. After hearing from God, they then told me what they felt was God's will with the trips.
The Rocks have asked me to lead a team of high school participants on a four week sports trip to Bistrita, Romania with the Ambassador Program from June 13th to July 17th (World Cup month). Here in Swaziland, my main ministry has developed to be serving and ministering to a professional soccer team, and after practicing with them for a few months, I became the only white man playing professional soccer in all of Swaziland! There has been strong discipleship made with these men and God really used sports as an excellent tool for having people discover His love, because now in Nsoko, Swaziland, God has created some men on that team to lead their community. Now, it's nearly impossible to really say what you will be doing on mission trips, for example, I was told that I would be doing a lot of caring for orphans and widows in Swaziland, which did happen a lot, but I also found myself witnessing and playing professional soccer all in the name of Jesus! With that said, what will take place in Romania is a focus on loving and ministering to underprivileged groups of Roma people commonly known as "Gypsies". I will spend time with grateful, energetic children at orphanages, and run various youth programs geared towards sharing the Gospel message and a large portion of my ministry will be sports-related. The AIM staff who asked me to lead this team, prayed and prayed for God to give a person to be a leader on the Romania trip. They heard from God that I am supposed to be a leader on this trip because of the experience He's given me through the Novas Project and applying Jesus to sports and having His will be done through that. But more importantly, it will be my role as a leader to make disciples of participants and to lead them in experiencing the kingdom of God. As a leader with Ambassadors, my responsibility will be to disciple high school students and make sure ministry, accommodation, transportation, etc...is taken care of. I will work with two other leaders: Jessica and Sarah.
I had prayed about going to Romania for a few days and heard from the Father that he wants for me to lead this team. I am asking for your support and help in this. I would seriously love for your participation in God's plan to further the kingdom in this way. First, I will need you to pray. Please be praying for me, my team, my other co-leaders, and for God to really be discovered in new and intimate ways. Second, I will need your help with financial support. God has a big call on my life for making disciples. "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." Matt. 28:19. The cost for me to go on this journey is $2,175, mostly of airfare. But as well as asking for support for the Romania trip, I am asking for support still for the Novas Project. The Novas Project's cost was $8,950, but I am still roughly $1,500 short of that goal. Don told me that if funding could be met for the Novas Project, then he can help me out by dropping the cost of the Romania trip to $1,620, so about a $500 difference.
I ask that you don't see this as donating money to "me", but that your support is "kingdom" money. Any sum of money is totally appreciated, and weekly gifts also help out tons because I will only be home from Swaziland to work for a little less than four weeks. But I want to make clear that this isn't just me asking for money to go to Romania, this is God sending me out as a servant to Jesus. If you feel it on your heart to help me, than please send your donation to the AIM office at 6000 Wellspring Trail, GA 30506. You can also donate online here at www.bryanmarsh.myadventures.org over on the left side of the screen where it says, "Support Me." Please read through my blogs from my experiences in Swaziland and read the upcoming stories from Romania. I know times are tough, so if your heart is in it to support this financially but you are a little strapped, please pray and seek God to discern on your decision to support this journey. Also, please tell your friends and family, people you work with, your church, other churches, or just about everyone you come into contact with, only kidding, but seriously that will help. I know that God is bringing me through transformations and teaching me many things through the Novas Project and teaching me more and more of what it really means to live as a disciple of Christ's through this trip to Romania and so on. Thank you for even reading this.
In Mexico, during a time of solitude, God spoke this over my life. I want to share this with you. I hope that it will give a picture of what He is doing within me. It's crazy to read this and see the scripture in it, and keep in mind that this is God speaking to my heart, and He knows the best way I understand him. So some things are going to either not make sense, or seem to have a different than what He actually meant.
Instead let there be a flood of justice. An endless precision of righteous living. Instead of a show. I hate all your shows.
You need to love everyone like you love yourself, like you love your best friends, like you love your favorite people, but don't keep shallow relationships. Root yourself and invest into people's lives. Bryan, bring peace and joy through me. Smile. I've created you and now it's your time to fulfill the plan I have for you. You have to go all in with all your strength and don't slow up when it gets tough or boring and you just don't wanna do it. Bryan, DON'T BELIEVE LIES! And you won't get burnt out with what I'm doing with you. I am your God. I am your love. I am your life. I love you and I know you love me, that's why I have chosen you. Now go Bryan and liberate the people of Swaziland and Africa through me. Show them their God. Show them the truth, show them what life actually is and life to the fullest. You have to love me. You have to feast on me. Dive in on my Word. Seek after me more than you've ever before and really do it! Don't say you will and be pumped up that I am giving you this charge and then slip back into your old life. Bryan this is a new life I have given you. You have been washed clean, there is no dirty background for you to go back on. That has been wiped clean and from now on you are My new creation, an infant with only righteous living ahead. I am going to use you Bryan, but I need you to obey me with this and do it to the fullest. Always have your Bible and read into the word. Grow in knowledge and you will grow in me. EAT! No more milk but real food. Meat. Don't fall short of who you're becoming to be. The man I'm making you into. Keep me above all else and keep me above all else in others as well. I want you to show the world a new side of me. A new way of life, a new way of my love that people have forgotten. Uncover Me that has been lost and covered up, bring It out of people's hearts and wipe the dirt out of their eyes so they can see and know Me. Know my love and joy. I hurt that this has fallen out of peoples mind, and I burn for them to know this, I love them, and I don't want to see this oppression continue anymore. Bring them out into freedom. Show them who I really am. Tell them about my Son and explain to them in detail of what it means for Me to be with them and them to be with Me. Out of the bondage and into My light, out of their sorrow and into My might. Bryan restore my people. Pray for them as often as you can and don't hesitate to do so. Believe in me and that I can do all things and when you pray, be speaking from your heart, that burning desire of what you really want. Bryan, I love you and you are pleasing me. You make me laugh and smile. Feed my sheep, guide my sheep, find the sheep that are lost. And make them all into shepherd to guide more sheep and to find the lost. Give news about my grace and mercy and that they are not condemned to hell and that they are worth something. Be yourself, who I have created you to be and you will see joy and happiness. I give you strength, so use it. You can do all things through me. Learn my ways and what I've let humanity know of me. Speak of that to them, and you too will learn and grow. I will take care of you. Protect your sisters and be courageous. You have a brave heart and let that lead you by listening to Me. Be a servant. Don't worry about people not liking you and trying to make yourself tailor to them because then you will be a no body in their minds. So be you in every interaction and situation and you will make an impression and statement in their minds and then will be able to tell them my love. Don't let language barrier get in the way and don't worry about offending people because you won't. I give these things for the reason I have created you and I am pleased you are listening. Be thankful to the ones around you and who are helping you and teaching you because I have called them to do so. Accept peoples love and let them serve you. They love you. Don't be sarcastic and always encourage and build up others. Don't be fearful because that is not you. Listen to me in whatever you do and in whatever you do let that be worship to me. Accept the plans I have given you and you will do many things, but if you don't listen to me, you will do nothing. Don't compare and judge because you will be judged as well. Your past history and the way you were before is gone and there is nothing there to live from. I am the vine and you are the branches, remain in me and I will nourish your growth. Find my lost sheep and fish for my men. You have done these things and you are now living. I tell this to you because I love you and I know you and I know you will do them. Now go Bryan. Go and don't look back to what is behind but always keep your eyes on what is now and press hard. I have grown you and am growing you. You will do much things through Christ. It is your time now that I've matured you. Be humble and do not boast but only if it is in me and only boast in me if it will encourage others but not to make them feel like they are not doing will and are nothing. You keep looking for a way out but there is no way out. This is your life and what I've called you to. People are going to try to get in your way and slow you down without knowing so, and don't let them. Love them and care for them and pray over them but don't let them distract you and keep you from what I'm doing because I will take care of them. I am your guardian and guardian of all so take refuge in me. Trust me. Surrender yourself always and know that none of this is "you," none of this is your flesh but it is Me through you. It is Me.
This week in football news...we played on Saturday and then again on Sunday. These were the last two schedule games of the season (there is one make-up game left), so this week was basically the end of soccer, and what good timing with only a week left in Nsoko. It was somewhat a miracle that I was able to play this weekend because I've gotten this really gnarly infection on my knee that began to spread to the bone and was immobilizing. Wisdom, the nurse and my teammate, had to milk out this huge pus filled cyst the size of an ibroprophene tablet and gave me three anti-biotic injections in my butt cheeks.
When Wednesday rolled around, and Wednesdays are the days I speak about the gospel and encourage the guys, it really caught me off guard because that was the last 'Wednesday' of being able to preach to them as a whole. Wednesday have become real special days to me, I will definitely miss those nights in the pitch black dark telling my guys about Jesus. And Friday was the last "camp" as well, where all the player come to the center where we live and stay the night and we feed them, then wake up, practice in the morning and then go to the game.
On Saturday we played Nsoko United. We changed up our formation and strategy again and I started in the first eleven. PG put me playing left wing and I played dang good. It was a new position for me and with our formation I got a lot of touches on the ball and was able to make some good things happen, I had some darn tootin' sweet plays. I would consider it the best game I've played yet, but we actually ended up coming out with a lose 3-0. Huge bummer...From this is the first game we have lost since the second round of the season started and this also means that our chances of coming in second place and potential moving up to the Super League Division have disappeared. PG substituted me out at half time though, I had over worked myself from fighting for scoring position and playing my role as a striker and mid-fielder, I got pooped out under the blazing sun. Later that night we had the first ever G-42 FC awards banquet. PG, Majabane and I thought up the awards to give which portrayed good soccer performance and character, from Player of the Season to Best Team Player. Our sponsor for the ceremony bought trophies for the four elite awards and we ate warthog and drank some wine! And without my knowledge, I recieved the award of Team Spiritual Mentor. Its kind of a minor award and they gave it to me just to give it to me, but it still meant a lot, to just have fruit be seen from my labour and bringing more purpose to my time out here and kind of bringing closure to my spirit.
This next game is hard to explain because, like I said before, there is a lot of corruption in the league. So before I also told you about the Black Aces, who are most likely going to finish the league in first place and can move up to Super League but they can't because all their players are night guards and the Super League games are at night. Well, the Black Aces were willing to give us the Super League spot if we came in second place under them, but since (up until Saturday) we were on a hot streak and beating the mess out of everyone, they were scared that we would beat them and they were asking PG to throw the game, and if we would they would still give us their spot in the Super League, but if we didn't, then they wouldn't. Pastor Gift told them that they were more or less sissies and that we would not do such a thing, Jon told them they need to play like men and not a bunch of little girls, I thought that was funny. But after the performance of some of the players on Sunday, PG told me that the Black Aces paid some of our players off to throw the game. Well, I started again, playing top man, or in other words a full time striker. I played well this game too. I created the play which we scored off of, but I had no goal. It kind of sucks to not get a goal, but how many people can say they played professional soccer in Africa? (Besides the professional soccer players in Africa) But I ended up going for another bicycle kick and when the ball was in the air, one of the Black Aces players thought it be a good idea to try and head the ball while my foot is careening toward his cranium and I successfully kicked another guy in the face...and again, I will say, "his face shouldn't have been in front of my foot..."Ok, so after a good save by our keeper he injured his shoulder and PG didn't want to put in any reserves because he benched them because he has reason to believe they were gonna try to throw the game, so they switched me to keeper. I've never played keeper before, but catching a ball with my hands is my forte, and I really had no clue what I was doing back there besides keeping the ball from going in the net. But anyways the switch to goal keeper was when we were already down a few goals and we ended up losing again. But this is the first year the team had been in the league, any league to be exact, so having the possibility to already move up a league is dang good too. This was the last game I will be playing with my guys. I'm a little bummed at the possibilities of some of the throwing the game, but overall I am very very proud of all of them and I am thankful that I call them my brothers.
There is so much corruption in the Lubombo Region Football League. My team is on the move, were motivated and winning. Were dangerous. Everyone is scared of us, and the crazy "umlungu" (white person) that'll chop you down at your knees if you get in front of him ha.
So there are the Black Aces and Nsoko United. Those are the last two teams we have to play and, well, beat. We were scheduled to play both of them this weekend, which is good news for me because I'm out of here in two weeks, so finishing up the season with my guys will be great, and have more games means more scoring opportunities. But anyways, because the teams are scared of us and no one wants to play us (because then we will overtake their position in the league rankings), they keep making up excuses to why they can't/won't play us. Each team wants to play us last, and the last game is played in a big fancy stadium under the lights! So no games were played this weekend because Nsoko United and Black Aces kept coppin' out of faces the inevitable beat down they are gonna receive! But I think the league is going to try to schedule a game mid-week this week, like on Wednesday or something. Hopefully that works out.
This weekend the team is having out end of the season award party. PG, Majabane (the team secretary), and I came up with the awards and figured who should receive which ones. This is gonna be really cool for these guys to receive trophies for their hard work and accomplishments, and the main directors of the league are coming. This is just going to really encourage them. We've got a huge party set up at the safari lodge down the road. We are going to EAT!
Please pray for a good wrap up of my time here ministering to my brothers on this soccer team. Pray that good fruit continues to come from this ministry and Jesus' seeds keep getting planted and good fertile soil keeps getting softened. Pray from spiritual brokenness in their lives.
I saw my first dead person. Not like lying in a coffin dead person. He was a relative to a lot of my friends here, especially my friend Mxolisi. He was hit by a car going 160 kilometers per hour, so that's 98 miles per hour. Majabane came into our room late that night and told us that a man was dead and he needed a blanket to cover him up. Majabane was with his friends' right on the side of the road where the man was hit. He and I ran out of the house down the dirt path in the dark, jumped the fence with the blanket and went over to the body which was 50 meters down road from where he was hit. The man was already slightly covered and a small crowd had started to form. The mother and wife were there screaming to the heavens in siSwati. I couldn't help but continually think to pray over the man's body.
Right when we got there, me and Majabane were sent to find the man's leg which came off on impact. We ran up the road using his cell phone as a flash light and saw the broken glass sparkling, then I saw a bloody lump lying on the side of the road, ran over, picked it up, put it in the blanket and wrapped it up and carried it back to the body. The whole time, I wanted to get back to the man to pray over him.
After lying the leg down I saw his wife, and walked over to her. I prayed over her in a prayer language for a while, and then I was asked to pray over the mother, the things I was praying for just seemed to not be weighing on my heart anymore, so again I prayed mainly in a tongue. What I was speaking to God seemed to really connect with her because her actions and attitude completely changed, she stopped yelling in mourning and began to rock back and forth really hard and seemed to kind of spasm and making noises like she had just been punched in the gut. The girls took the family's children to our house. Those are dear kids to us. The whole time I couldn't keep from feeling like I was going to raise this man from the dead.
Then I somehow found the driver of the car standing by himself on the side opposite side of the road. I felt that I should speak truth and grace into his life. I told him to just say grace to it, like Jesus does with us. He is a teacher and spoke very well English. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing the dead man rise up from under the blankets and walk home.
I saw Jon and called him over, we started praying aloud just standing there a few feet away from the body as the cops did there thing. I missed my chance... the cops wouldn't let me pray over the man. I kept seeing that he was going to rise, the Spirit was calling to me to raise this man, to experience Gods power like this, to bring glory to Jesus who conquered death. It was like every time I had the chance to go and lay hands on him, something else came up that I went to go do.
Our really good friend and Swazi brother (whose name I'm not going to say) came over to me and Jon. The dead man was his uncle, but more like a father to him. He broke down in our arms, we held him there, continually praying. He leans up and says to us, "I'm going to go get my pistol..." and runs off. Jon and I look at each other, just look at each other, not really sure we heard what we just heard. We chased after him to his house, praying that angles were going to stand guard over us as I was about to get between an unreasonable man with a gun and a soon to be dead man much like the other, lying in the back of the cop car. After a while of waiting I figured that this was really stupid, but I'm not going to not do anything, so I ran and told the police man to keep an eye on the driver, and there are some very angry people here who are confused and don't understand why someone who made a really stupid mistake should live after they just killed their uncle. This cop kind of blew me off... I then later saw him walk out from the path to the road with a long coat on followed by his brother. A group of people standing right next to them stopped them before anything happened. Three or four more times after this I stopped my friend and his brother from their cunning schemes to kill the driver, and every time they just fell to pieces in my arms not knowing what to do with their self. "Why God, why?" was all they would yell.
I don't know why I didn't raise that man from the dead. I remember in training camp back in Georgia before we left for Mexico, a leader was telling us a story about when the team she led tried to raise a man from the dead. I was hoping that I'd have that opportunity, to feel Gods power like that, and experience brining such glory to Him. I really had faith that the man was going to get up from the blankets, his leg would be attached, his bones would be mended, his smashed bloody flesh would be smooth skin, and he would walk away with his family praising God. I've been trying to discern why I felt such a strong tug on my spirit to raise this man from the dead, but nothing happened. If that's what God wanted me to do, then why didn't he just make it happen through me? I believe in miracles and I strongly believe that God can and will do anything through a person who just has faith that it can happen, if that's what He wants. I believe that God doesn't waste his power or just give it away for no reason. What was the reason why I felt Jesus stirring in me to raise the man? I learned that I wasn't supposed to raise him; I was just supposed to really feel the capabilities of Jesus' power through us. It's like God is preparing me to do it. I mean later that night I felt like I really failed because I didn't at least do something to attempt to raise him. I stood from a distance while the cops did there thing. I hate failing and I'm not going to do it again, I learned from my mistake. I learned just to do it. It's simple. The next time, just do it.
Here is a blog my teammate Katie wrote. We are all really looking forward to this event and would be so blessed by any support you could give us!
To close out our time in here in Nsoko, we want to have a big event, an anti HIV/AIDS campaign tentatively on May 1st. The theme will be "Protect me from HIV, Ngilikusasa" (or I am the future). It will be an event mainly for children, similar to old elementary school style field days, with Swazi flair. There will be races and games for the kids. A puppet show and drama will prepared in advance to teach the kids about the ways they can avoid HIV/AIDS and how to protect themselves. We are hoping to have four different care points coming together to take part in the event, about 400 kids in all. We are also hoping to buy a cow for the community and have a feast that night.
Unfortunately this all requires money. All of us on the team are asking our sponsors, friends and families for a little bit more to be able to host this event. We need to raise about $500 (that's US dollars) to pull this off. The money will go to transporting the kids to and from the center, food, and other supplies. I know some of you told me that you didn't have money to give to me before I left but that if needs came up along the way to let you know...well I'm letting you know.
This leaves each me individually to raise about $100. Because this needs to happen fast (the event is less than a month away!) we are choosing not to fundraise through AIM and therefore nothing that you give will be tax deductible, sorry! If you want to help, please either give my parents money (at church or if you see them sometime) or mail a check (made out to either me or my parents) to my home address -
230 Antlers Trail
Leander, TX 78641
Even $5 will help tremendously. If you are in Texas Wesley, contact Sarah Jenkins. She has agreed to collect money for me there and will then mail a check to my parents on April 23rd.
I've told you about, Mapile, one of my best friends here in Swaziland. Well his younger brother, Menzi, who I am friends with as well came to me one night asking for help. Here is his problem... Menzi who is 18 years old, and Mapile live with their gran, Agnes. Agnes also has 11 people living in her house as well. I consider Agnes my Swazi mother. But Menzi never sleeps at home and he is having trouble studying. This makes sense that he never sleeps at home because Mapile is always sleeping over at our house every night. Menzi doesn't sleep at home because he has a lot of friends who beg their mom if they can have a sleep over, Menzi doesn't sleep at home because there is no room. And because there is no room and too much going on, he can't study for school and do his homework. So he came to me one night asking if I can help him in anyway. Here is what he needs help with. Menzi needs to build a house. He told me, just a one room, just so I have a place to stay and to study. He is going to build the house out of rock and concrete, and it's just going to a simple formation. He only has R250 ($33 American) and that is to pay for the donkey to get the rocks from up the mountain but he has no money for the other supplies needed. Now Menzi is the kind of guy that never asks for anything. He just proud like that, he wouldn't have come to me if this wasn't an important thing for him, and something he needs. What asks if I could help contribute, not even pay for it all, which is unusual because everyone usually just tries to milk us for everything we have you know. But I calculated the cost for the cement and its R680 so that translates to $92 green ones. Basically that's only a total of $125 to build a house! So I am asking for support from you to help me out with helping Menzi by building him a house. Here is what you can do: write a check for any amount and then mail it to this address- 3334 Forest View Dr. Union, KY 41091. My parents will then put it on my card that I am using here in Swazi, and they will let me know the limit I have to spend so then I'm not doing money fraud. I know this seems sketchy so if you don't feel comfortable than that's fine, but this is the only way this can happen. I'm sorry about that. I have no more money to pay for this, I've spent most of it all paying for kids transport money to go to school, to buying their school uniforms, to paying for school feels and taking people to the clinic, and to buying food for families, etc... This would really mean a lot to all of us out here, seriously, this is a house for someone. Thank you.
This story has potential to be hard to tell/understand without the foreknown knowledge that I have but am not going to tell you because it will just be too long of a blog and just too much to get into, but I'm gonna try to briefly hit the background stuff so you can understand the important part of the story. This is just a cool experience of our King Jesus.
So there has been some spiritual warfare or spiritual activity or however you want to call it while in Mexico and in Swaziland. There was an incident where I was physically attacked at night and woke up to find that my attacker was not physical at all, but I was still left with pain full wounds on my body. Then some real heavy nightly attacks from a messenger of Satan who was sent to torment us followed that and left us drained. Then following that, Bhekumusa was sleeping in my room one night when I was sleeping when I got attacked and yeah well he got attacked too, the same way I did. He woke up and we prayed for him and he went back to sleep and when the spirit came back he fought it away with the fire and power that Jesus had given him to defeat his enemy from our prayers. Okay, so that more or less briefly sums up what you need to know.
While in Mexico, God had shown me that he has given me the spiritual gift of discernment between spirits. So now in Swaziland God has moved to mature this gift in me with the more I have been experiencing the spiritual world. So here is the story...
After our soccer match I came home, absolutely pooped, and I dropped on my bed, grabbed the guitar and started jammin' just playing some good chord progressions. One of the infamous Swazi thunderstorms was going hard right on top of our house and as I was playing the power went out and the lights off. Satan loves to use the darkness as a tool for fear, which he has tried to many times before and I can't explain how I know but with this gift that God has given me I just knew that some sort of spiritual darkness was trying to entice fear with our home, again. I could feel that the spirit was weaker than before or at least it was a weaker spirit. I'm pretty sure that there is a tomb from some witchdoctor, or a very powerful man who was involved with the occult, that is under our house. After talking to Bhekumusa about his experience and mine and just what he knows about all that crazy stuff and just from experiences and talking to other people, I just think that that is the case. So I'm playing guitar, I'm really tired (my flesh is weak), the power is out, and I sense this evil presence behind me, where the physical attacks have happened before and so I worship. I just sing in the Spirit, praising Jesus from anything that I feel on my heart. I'm praising Him for his holiness and He is the reigning King overall and I'm just singing with what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart. I feel the presence weaken and then the lights come back on. So I just keep playing again, the normal stuff with no singing for a few more minutes. The lights go out again and I knew that the devil will try to come back, and it did. So, I start worshipping Jesus again, and after about 30 seconds the lights come back on. This happened about three more times, the lights going off and the oppressor tries to settle in and I just joyfully and deeply worshipped Jesus, just singing from what I felt on my heart, and just like Jesus doing what he does best, He saves me from the darkness.
I know this was brief and not too detailed, but that's just because it's hard to tell and it's just one of those things better told by my mouth you know? One thing I really learned in Mexico was the authority that we have through Jesus spirit and the power that it brings, as long as you have faith and are willing.
G-42 Football Club comes through with another win this Saturday. We won 2-1. Preparing for this game was challenging because our opponents, the Richmond Aces, were tough and we have to win all the rest of our games so Pastor Gift used a new strategy with our formation, which was pretty cool.
Because this game was a big one PG was real intentional to get us all pumped up for it so we warmed up a little "Remember the Titans" but Swazi style. We all got in a circle and song the soccer chants and did the dances. Everyone goes nuts when I dance, especially when I "engwasi" which is a South Africa style of dancing which I wouldn't justify its coolness by explaining it. So we were all jacked up from that and ready to beat the mess out of some people. We scored in the first 5 minutes and kept it that way the rest of the half, then early in the second half they scored off of a corner kick and tied it up at 1-1. With about 40 minutes left in the second half PG put me and Bhekumusa in. I was pretty stoked about that, its just really encouraging when your put in late in the game when the score is tied and you're the man to make the goal ya know? It just reminds me that I deserve the playing time, I always feel bad when I start in the first eleven or when I get substituted in over other guys who have been playing their whole lives. I easily lose my confidence out there man, it's tough. Later Saturday night, Majabane (who is the team secretary) and Mapile and I were talking about the game and specifically my performance. I was telling them how annoying and how much I hate it when I mess up or do something good and I hear even one laugh, or I hear the reaction to the crowd and how that gets in my head. There is so much pressure on me when I play, one because I hold myself to such perfect standard and I am not allowed to mess up without any excuses and two because all eyes are on me and that's just so annoying. I'm the only white boy playing in Swaziland and since I've been playing for a while all the fans know that G-42 has the white striker, so they come to watch...Like when I got subbed in during the game, I just heard a low roar come from the crowd, everybody commenting to each other sa. "Everybody does those things to you because you are a crowd pleaser. People know the way you play now and they like to see you play. The whole game before you got in the crowd was yelling to us, 'Hey put that guy in! Bring him in!' Majabane told me when we were talking about the game. It's weird to hear that because I'm so oblivious to everything going on around me ya know? And normally when you are labeled a crowd pleaser, that is a good thing, but when I hear the commotion from the crowd it actually makes it harder for me to play because I assume that they are all making fun of me and honestly I get pissed at them and I want to yell a bunch of insults back, even though they aren't making fun of me. It just crazy how even in sports, the enemy will still feed you lies to try to break you down and make you think you are less than a son of the King.
So I didn't score again....Bummer.... I played really well though. I had some good plays and make some good things happen to let others score, like right when me and Bhekumusa got in he had the winning goal a few minutes later off of a deflection from the keeper from a shot that came from my pass (hahaha). Scoring before I leave in 17 days is my goal, I'm basically set up for failure but I will score before I have to leave!
Because my time in Swazi is wrapping up, I've just been praying and thinking about what more can happen with my soccer guys. It's a tough situation because things have come a long way with them since I first got here, but really not much tangible fruit has come from it. I mean I intently share the gospel with them every Wednesday, and because they are always hanging out here, random conversations happen where I have opportunities to disciple them and speak truth to them. Like one time I was talking with Sanele (Sah-neh-lay) as we were fetching water so he could wash his school uniform. Sanele always orders the girls around to do things for him, he's not a bad guy it's just the culture here, but because he is lazy sometimes he's even asked the girls on my time do his laundry and cook for him many times haha, so as were fetching water I talked to him about being humble. It was a totally new concept for him. I told him how hard it is and how I even suck really bad at it, and then told him about Jesus' humility of coming to earth and serving humanity and being homeless and sacrificing himself for us. He understood it but not fully so over the next few days there were random times where he would ask me more about it or I would tell him or I would show him examples of humility. So I then I told him that we're are gonna keep each other accountable with being humble so every day at training were gonna ask each other what we did that was humble that day and we have to be honest and answer. And every day, we do it and he has seriously done some really really humble things.
I don't prepare anything for when I speak to the guys on Wednesdays, it just very casual and informal (which is great because everything having to do with God here is the exact opposite), I just ask God's Spirit to speak through me. During practice when I'm praying for what these guys need to hear He always gives me a story about Jesus' life and I just have faith that He will elaborate on it as needed. Like last Wednesday, "tell them about the rich young man," God told me. "But dude, I already told them about that story," I said back to God. "Bryan, just tell them that story again, that's what they need to hear." So then, like every week, I'm not really sure exactly what to say, I just stay confident and begin to speak off of what first comes to mind. "So Jesus is walking around, I guess, probably traveling from town to town, and this young man walks up Jesus. Now this young man is really rich, he has everything that he thinks he can ever have or want in this life, he is even a Rabbi, like he has gone to school and knows everything that there is to know about God. So the man asks Jesus, 'What do I have to do to get into Heaven?' And Jesus asks, 'Do you obey the laws? What is the most important law?"..... I tell that story as God gives it to me to tell it, and then God elaborates for me, "So the man had everything he ever wanted, he obeyed and followed the rules to God, he was a good person, but he wasn't going to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Jesus told him to sell everything and give it to the poor, and the man rejected the Son of God right to his face so he could keep his possessions and walked away, and as he walked away Jesus loved him. So Jesus meant two things when he told the man to sell his stuff and give it to the poor, he really did mean to sell his possessions, but he also meant to sell himself. Not to sell himself for money, but to give everything of himself to God, to abandon yourself for Jesus. Getting to Heaven is not about being a good person or doing the right things, Jesus asks us to surrender ourselves and follow him. He says if you lose your life, for his sake, than you will find it but if you try to keep your life than you will definitely lose it." So I went on with that for a while and got a lot deeper, and I mean they were listening, I even heard some, "mmm's" and "ohhh's" like it was new for them to hear and Macoya even yells out, "Hallelujah!" haha. It's just really awesome how faithful God is when you are willing to put your neck out there. Like how I just ask God to give me the words that you want them to hear and He tells me to re-tell something I've already told them, just because they need to hear it.
The next day, I'm cooling down, lying in my bed half naked, after playing some pick-up games of soccer with some of the teenage boys that hang around here. In my undies, reading my Bible, Bhekumusa comes in and he too does the boogie woogie down to his boxers and we sit in front of the fan and just talk, about life and stuff, its' kind of normal for us to do these things, it's nothing creepy, just good ole' bro-time. So I asked Bhekumusa, "Hey dude, what more do you think I can do with the soccer guys, like I tell them about Jesus every Wednesday and I tried to start this discipleship group but that fell apart, is there anything that you can see that I can do for them?" So he tells me, "No, not really man, it's on them now. You've done everything you can; you've told them about Jesus, you've told them everything you can. It's all on them now, if they want to accept it. It's like you said, they have to decide if they want to keep their lives and eventually lose them or if they want to lose their lives to find them. You've already done a lot for us, it's on them now if they want more." I've never heard him speak so much wisdom before, I was expecting an answer of something to do; it was what I needed to hear.
I know the next step is discipleship, some are chosen and some aren't, so for the ones who get it, for the ones who are willing to lose their lives, they need discipleship. I knew coming to Swazi wasn't about evangelism and counting converts but the need here is discipleship. Everyone has heard the Jesus message, and everyone has been saved 27 times. One of our leaders in Mexico, Blair, told me, "Everyone, especially the believers, constantly need to be reminded of the gospel, man." That's stuck with me here, all I've done is preached the gospel and edging in discipleship into lives and living the gospel to the best that I can. Everyone from AIM has been encouraging us to "Finish trong and leave it all there." But I just don't know what that looks like more than what God's doing through me. I don't want to waste my time playing soccer just to be doing something you know, just to feel like I did something today so I will be ending strong. I have one idea though, I'm gonna get Mapile, Majabane, and Bhekumusa, and we are going to meet up and I am going to disciple these guys hard. I am going to give it to them thick. These guys have what it takes, they get it it, they understand, especially Maplie, but they just need to know it, they need to understand more of the arsenal that they have in their souls. They need to realize the potential that they have and that they need to use it. I see them now as Jesus' twelve disciples before they received the Holy Spirit, when they were timid and foolish. But I have hope that God will turn them into bold and fierce apostolic men full of love to change the world.
All in all, what more that needs to happen is prayer. I need to pray more for these guys, and for this place, and you need to too, please. Now we all know that when someone asks you to pray for them, we usually always say to ourselves that we will but we forget. I do it, we all do it, and it sucks. So I don't know what to do to remind us all to pray, but I am going to pray that we remember to pray. This is seriously business ladies and gentlemen. Believe in the power of prayer.
