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Big Gulps, Huh?
We were supposed to play another game again last Saturday and I was supposed to play again, but because we are the team that every other team wants to screw, our opponents didn’t show up. So we won by forfeit. The team didn’t come to the game because they knew that we were going to beat them, of course…but they didn’t want us to gain advantage in league ranking by having a high score count. What a bunch weenies eh? I was gonna score too, I could feel it…
So there is Ryan and Cody. The two have been staying with us in Nsoko for the past 3 weeks. Ryan was on the first team ever to come to Nsoko and this was Cody’s first time out of the States, well, they decided to come back and travel Africa, serving and partnering in ministries wherever they went and just being led by the Spirit. They are some solid dudes. But anyways, last night was there last night here so my team and they took out our best friends for dinner. As we were driving we picked up Mxolisi on the road as we were picking up Mapile by his house and then went to meet Majabane. We were only missing Begumusa, but as we were driving and the guys were being crazy, we were all just dying laughing and we had 11 people crammed into Pastor Gift’s seven seating vehicle. As I was sitting there and just watching all the interactions in the relationships of us and our friends, I just distanced myself and really saw how much I love these guys. I think because Ryan and Cody were leaving it got me thinking of how much I’ve gotten used to living with the Swazi’s. Like I’ve said before, it’s just normal life. There are its positives and negatives to this of course but I was just thinking of going home and missing everybody here. I was observing all the little weird character traits of everyone and seeing the particulars of why I love them, all the funny little Swazi things that they do, which now naturally I do. I it’s gonna be a sad day when I’m back home and I realize that I’m not naturally saying the all Swazi exclamations or speaking in siSwati anymore, and that I don’t have these people around me and I won’t laugh at the inside jokes we all have together. And how I’m not gonna be there to have one-on-one man talks with them anymore.
I’ve been struggling with this “saving the world complex” where I just have this urge and desire to bring Jesus to all the problems of this world and here in Nsoko. There are so many needs around everywhere that you don’t have to even see them anymore; it’s just kind of like instinct as how you just know that they are there are where the needs are. I’m talking about specific needs too, not like poverty and big generalized problems. But what I’ve had to do it just focus my time and self and invest into small areas. Someone already came to save the world Bryan. That’s what I have to tell myself over and over again, when it comes to just spending time with the unheard and showing them that they are seen, that God sees them. I’ve noticed that I get subconsciously bored when I’m doing something; well actually, it’s not boredom it’s just this feeling or urgency to do something else. That’s the ‘saving the world complex’ that I’m talking about. As there are only about 40 days left of Swaziland, I keep pounding in my head to finish strong. To go harder than I have yet, that I will faint when I hit U.S. soil, but I’ve learned that my time here with the soccer team has been more of softening the ground and planting seeds for God’s timing and love to be made perfect. So it’s just been hard to focus myself in one area and invest my everything into that, instead of trying to solve everything and the result being little progress in many areas, or huge progress in one area. I think it would be best for the second result to happen. Pray for disciple ship with the soccer team that I play with and Jon and I minister to. Things have come a very very long way with them but there is no discipleship yet. Please pray for that, there is much work left to be done.